ABOUT NERF JIHAD
Hi! My name is Matthew! Nerf Jihad is a personal/comedy/music/"other shit" zine that I started writing sometime in 2004. I'm going to write more stuff here sometime, but for now here is a bunch of shit that other people have said about Nerf Jihad zine:
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First of all, before I go on to rave about this zine, I’m going to tell you that it covers the following somewhat familiar territory: 1. Anecdotes from the author’s childhood that give the reader something that they can laugh about and sort of identify with at the same time. 2. Funny and absurd letters to local government and corporations followed by printed replies. 3. A "Random Thoughts" section, where the author writes about all of the goofy shit that goes through his head. However, when this stuff is pulled off with the wit and gut-busting charm of Nerf Jihad, it makes for the best zine I’ve read in a long time. I also must mention the “Interview with a Goth,” where they take some random goth and ask her questions like, “What is your favorite color?” Yep, funny shit. This is the kind of zine to read on your lunch break to get you through the workday. Believe me, it will. Thanks, Matt.
Review of issue #7 by Craven Rock/Razorcake #38.
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The latest Nerf Jihad is another solid offering of comedy gold from Matt. It launches right into things with a 9-page crusade against Virgin mobile phones for their random allowance of pornographic materials to be advertised on their network. It’s a very in-depth and funny piece that takes things to yet again a whole other level, comprising of a series of letters to a Virgin employee named Emir, and ultimately culminating in a letter to Naomi Robson. In this issue of Nerf Jihad we also get more stories of childhood craziness, an interview with a self-proclaimed Goth, and hilarious letters to Allens Lollies, AAMI, the Spastic Centre, Gosford City Council, Peter Costello and Levi’s Jeans. Hope the next issue isn’t too far away!
Review of issue #7 by Luke Bartolo/Cane Toad Warrior.
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Matt Ford is a fucking genius.
Review of issue #7 by Danger Coolidge/Unbelievably Bad #6.
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Okay, this zine was such a hit around my house that it was passed around and passages were read aloud while everybody cracked up. In fact, it was so well loved that one of my asshole friends jacked it, making the reviewing process kind of hard. But nonetheless, that’s a pretty good indicator of the quality of this zine. For content, go ahead and refer to my review for issue #7, since the stuff in both of them was pretty similar. Then proceed to order both of them without delay.
Review of issue #6 by Craven Rock/Razorcake website.
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Yah! Nerf Jihad is back. I'm never more excited than when I see this zine has arrived in the mail, it's easily my favourite zine. Matt brings the laughs with pointed letters and ironic deconstruction of shitty media everywhere - Death Before Dishonour magazine, Christian Music Videos and Star FM all cop it with varying degrees of hilarity. The Sandlot Kids cover is indicative of the general of this issue, Matt has decided to focus on stories from his childhood days - demonstrating and ability to amuse, engage and entertain with his tales of classroom battles with Scottish teachers, weird kids, trampolines, and porno-magazine toting barbers. One of the best zines I've read this year. Email: mattdicknose@yahoo.com.au, Mailing addy: PO Box 575, Gosford, NSW 2250.
Review of issues #6 by Luke Bartolo/Cane Toad Warrior #16.
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The mainstream media are milking the “un-Australian” cow for all she’s worth of late and the debate chases its tale over exactly what un-Australian means. In Nerf Jihad I found an independent publication that I would say is proudly “Australian” without being jingoistic. After reading these three issues cover to cover I felt perky and refreshed – happy to be infused with some good old Aussie spirit. If I was a backpacker living overseas I’d feel much more nostalgic reading an issue of Nerf Jihad than some boring copy of TNT. It’s full of that subtle Aussie humour (you know the one we’re always proudly saying Americans don’t get) where nothing is sacred and big business is not to be respected. Most other Nerf Jihad reviews I’ve read have only focused on the correspondence between Nerf Jihad’s creator Matt Ford and his hit-list of corporate targets – TV stations, celebrities, beverage companies and the like. But there is a lot of other random stuff that is sure to strike a chord with anyone who spent formative years in Australia. I could especially relate to Matt’s theory on the relationship between a family’s financial situation and the kind of ice-blocks they served to guests (issue #5). The creation of Nerf Jihad is a more than admirable pursuit – and more young Aussies should be out there distilling their unique opinions into a tangible produce.
Review of issues #3-6 by Angie Von Helle/Unbelievably Bad #3.
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This Oz effort is like a combination of the pop-cultural obsession and reminiscences of www.x-entertainment.com (though considerably darker – especially the school stories) and the mischievous missives of The Timewaster Letters by Robin Cooper. The latest issue sees editor Matt and contributor Luke sending crackpot e-mails and letters to such organisations as the Australian Christian Channel, Balance Water Company, Below Par Records, OPSM eyewear, Westfield shopping centres, Nine Network newsreader Karen Tso and the St George Bank. Other articles include a damning assessment of Death Before Dishonour mag, amusing observations about developments in Matt’s local area (Gosford, NSW), an SMS popularity contest between Spike from Degrassi High and Spike from Press Gang, plus reviews of indy/punk gigs and other zines. At a measly $1, this will provide you with a solid hour’s reading and more than a couple of out-loud laughs – that’s better value than just about any other book apart from a Gideons Bible. Bring on #7!
Review of issue #6 by Adam Williams/Betty Paginated #29.
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I fuckin’ love this zine. Matt is a true genius amongst zinesters. His heart is in the right place and he does a zine for all the right reasons. Issue #5 didn’t fail to please and I was in stitches through the whole thing. I mean, bust this, the dude writes a letter to McDonalds and even gets a reply. Well played! Plus, he sends a letter to Ray Martin AND gets a signed photo back. I’d love to see Matt’s house… signed photos of B-Grade celebs everywhere. Fuckin’ awesome! This issue even came with a compliation CD titled “Kicking Rad” which was a nice touch. Seriously folks, this zine is one of the best out there. Hunt it down at all costs.
Review of issue #5 by Damo/Long Gone Loser #12.
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Finally, a new issue of Australia's greatest current zine! Nerf Jihad #5 is a great return to form arter the more low-key issue 4. There's the usual crazy letters to the likes of David Koch, McDonalds and Ray Martin, but the real highlights for me were the longer articles which kind of take Nerf Jihad to a whole other level... "The Neverending Story, Falkor: A Sexual Devient", "Jon Stevens: Controller of the Elements" (this was hilarious), "How I was Responsible for my entire School Thinking Scottie Poppen was there" and "A Study in Family Finance/Ice Blocks" all come to mind. My absolute favourite part would have to be the exclusive extract from Mark Latham's autobiography... It has to be read to get the full gist of the genius of this zine that I'm trying to get accross to you right now, but I'll just say that it involves several high-profile Labor party members, peer pressure and dog food. And as if all this isn't enough, this issue comes with a CD compliation called 'Kickin' Rad' and has a wide variety of Australian and American punk/folk/harcore bands. Contact Matt now. Get yourself a copy . Do it motherfucker. Matt, PO Box 575 Gosford NSW 2250, or mattdicknose@yahoo.com.au
Review of issue #5 by Luke Bartolo/Cane Toad Warrior #14.
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Matt likes to write letters to famous people. Amazingly fake, toadying letters full of annoying complaints, blatant lies and brown-nosing. Sometimes, he gets letters back from them: an autographed photo of Richard Wilkins here, a signed photo of Home And Away's Michael Beckley there. Or sometimes Matt will write to companies like Supre complaining about the shitty music they play in their stores, or P&N Beverages asking what fucking flavour is "Cool Blue Drink" Fruit Pops? Fair question. Between the letters are articles such as "I Told Alex Lloyd He Was Amazing!" and possibly the most succint summing up of the Schapelle Corby dope-smuggling case titled "How could anyone be this monumentally stupid?" Matt's a sharp writer and a funny guy. He also gave BP a very good review, which means I think he's a top bloke to boot. Want a copy of his A5 zines (loved the Osama Bin Laden/Family Ties cover on #4)? E-mail Matt at mattdicknose@yahoo.com.au.
Review of issues #3 & 4 by Dann Lennard/Betty Paginated website.